Funny Things My Callers Say pt 3.1, 3.2 and 3.3

Just another day in the life at 911. All the callers were "girls".

Caller: I'd like to report an olderly man driving recklessly.

Me: A what?

Caller: An olderly man.

Me: ...okay...
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Caller: I'd like to report a reckless driver on the freeway.

Me: Ok, let me have you to talk to the State Patrol...

WSP: What are you reporting?

Caller: A reckless driver on I90.

WSP: What are they doing?

Caller: Well, I'm going at least 85 and he's totally pulling away from me.
(FYI, our speed limit there is 70 mph)

WSP: Um, you wanna slow it down to 70 ma'am?

Caller: Uh, what?

WSP: You can't go 85 ma'am, and if you do you shouldn't tell me about it.

Caller: Oh. Okay.
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and my personal favorite of the day :

Caller: I'd like to report a lady walking down the street who looks like she having some trouble walking. She might be drunk.

Me: Okay, how old is she?

Caller: She's elderly.

Me: By elderly, what do you mean, 70, 80, 90?

Caller: No, I'd say she looks about 42.

Me: Where are you? I'm gonna come beat you with my cane kick your ass. (No, I did not really say that to her, but I really really wanted to!)