This is mah job

I talk to  people who really act like this. Every day. Kittehs are much cuter though.

This is Halloween

Okay, so it's a little early. But we just found out at work that we are having a costume contest on Halloween for those of us unlucky enough to be working that day.

Except there's a catch: We have to dress up as a typecode.

Let me 'splain.

As a 911 operator in my county, I have the unfortunate job of talking to the public that calls in on 911 and figuring out what to do with them. We call this "triage": we take their information, chop it up into a Reader's Digest Condensed version and enter it into the computer system where it is routed to the appropriate dispatcher to ignore handle.
Every call we take has to be entered with the appropriate typecode, which is a 2 to 6 digit "code" for whatever is going on. Like "DV" for domestic violence. PERW for a person with a weapon (but only if it's not a DV, because if it was, then it would be DVW).
ACCINJ for a vehicle accident where someone is injured.
BURGR for a residential burglar.
And the less obvious like PRKVIO for parking violation. DVOPV for violation of a restraining order. LANDIS for landlord tenant disputes. ALMH for hold up alarm.
And the extremely obvious: ARGUE. FIGHT. DUI. NOISE. STAB. ARSON. BOMB.

MENTAL...

I've been trying to get STOOPD and WHINER, but so far they aren't going for it.

So I've been trying to figure out what would be fun. Clearly things like LEWD just wouldn't be appropriate for the workplace. PROST(itution) probably wouldn't be either. DOA might be fun.

Secret Agent Man suggested I be a missing person:

not this kind

this kind (ADULTM)

...and just not show up.

AIRDN (airplane down) would be interesting to try.



As would RECKDR (reckless driver).



I also like DETOX (detox van for an intoxicated person) or LIQVIO (liquor violation).



Or WELFAR (check the welfare of someone).



Too bad we don't have a typecode for train wreck...
I can do that without even trying!

It's 11 PM - do you know where your blog is?

It's 11pm on Tuesday and, after feeling dopey all day, I'm now suddenly wide awake. So I'm trying to catch up on my blogging, reading and commenting. I apologize to all those who usually see me around the inner webs, but it's been a long, weird week.

First off, I had a test and presentation at work a week ago. A what? At 911? Yah, well I signed up, along with several co-workers, for a series of leadership classes. We have attended a class once a month since last September. I thought it would be a nice break once a month from answering phones and talking to crazy, pissed off people. Which it was.
The classes were taught by De Hicks, who has done other team building type classes for us over the last few years. Don't let the suit fool you, he is also this guy, and he is wicked hilarious and the classes are always fun. Except...

Except we were told at the last official class that we were going to have a test and a presentation at the final meeting.

I hate "presentations". You would think that someone who was in choir and drama classes in school, did musical theater in Germany, was in a Celtic band that played all over town, and is a blogger all over the internet would not be shy in front of people she has worked with for over 10 years...
but you would be wrong! I can pretend to be someone else and and spout 3 pages of monologue, sing, dance and whatever, but for some reason standing up and talking in front of a group makes me so nervous I almost stop breathing.

So I went with the familiar and did a presentation on why Dorothy Gale was a "leader". I used my artwork for props. (Remember these gals?)

Nervous or not, I guess it was okay. I stuttered my way through it and only lost my place, oh, a half-dozen times. I even made a pair of ruby slippers, although I bought the shoes at a local thrift store and didn't try them on first (hello, I don't keep a can of Lysol in my purse) and they are wa-a-ay too big (Hey, Value Village: FYI - a UK7 is not the same as a US7..!) I can't actually wear them, so I am bummed. I may have to make another pair....



Anyway, ruby slippers or not, I was so nervous the night before, I made a joke about trying to figure out some way to "hurt" myself so I had an excuse not to go to work.
(FYI: Tempting Fate? Not. A. Good. Idea.)
Two hours later I tripped going down the basement stairs. I managed not to do a face plant on the basement floor, but instead caught myself on the banister. (Ta da!)
Of course, I caught myself with my right hand. Which is my writing hand. Which means it is my drawing hand. Which means I did not break anything, but I did manage to do some damage to the tendons in my wrist. Which means I have not been writing or drawing or typing (much). I went to work and it was ok for a couple days; then it wasn't. I have been in a brace since Friday and tomorrow I actually have to go in for physical therapy. But like I always say, a day of painful physical therapy is better than a good day at work! (No, seriously, I say that all the time. Just ask Secret Agent Man!) And it also means, that although I type something like 82 words a minute, it has taken me almost two hours to type all this out.

Drawing is also slow, but I am working a little at a time. Hopefully I will have something new to post soon.
And Thursday I will be picking a winner for my contest. If you haven't entered yet, and would like to, you still have time to leave a comment on my Moo post! See ya Thursday!

*****************************************************

Update: Three weeks of brace and physical therapy! (At least.) Ugh.

Duck, Duck, Goose

Today the Washington State Patrol went on a wild goose chase.
Literally.

Apparently a mama and papa goose were taking their little ones for a walk along the freeway. Dozens of people called it in to 911 for fear they would become pate'.






Luckily a Trooper was nearby and was able to herd the little honkers off the freeway and keep an eye on them until a Game Agent was able to get there. Yea!

(All pictures courtesy of the WDOT traffic cameras.)

It's FRIDAY!!!

Ok, so actually - it's "Friday".
It's Wednesday in the "real" world. But in my world, it's Friday!
What that means is that I have the next 2 days off. And that it's beer and pizza night.
Yea, "Friday"!

And speaking of quotation marks, (what? Did too...) what is with that, anyway? Have you ever noticed that people use way too many quotation marks and obviously don't have a clue what they are for?
Like this one:

It's nice of him to stick around for 20 years, not really being their dad and all.

Or this one:


It's okay, it doesn't really "bite". Or doesn't "really" bite...

So, are superfluous quotation marks the worst or are random apostrophes even worse than that?
I mean, what the heck?


That make's absolutely "no sense" whatsoever. Bwahahahaha!

And speaking of no sense...
I got a 911 call the other day. Some lady (I use that term loosely) who wanted to file a fraud complaint because a local bar charged her nearly $9 for a margarita and didn't put any tequila in it. Except that she was clearly drunk. She also complained that other bars were putting cocaine in her drinks.
I'm thinking she needs to quit drinking.

Speaking of 911...it's not always crap and crazies, just so you know. I had a guy call one day to report a stolen car. He was at the courthouse. I asked which street he was on - he proceeded to start singing "On Broadway" for me. Made my day!

Speaking of musicals...I now hate my coffee stand gals. Okay, not really. But they were going on and on about "Glee" the other day so I thought, what the heck, I'll give it a try. I need something to replace "Ugly Betty" anyway...
So, thanks a lot. I'm completely hooked now! I love the music, the characters are a hoot. I so want to be on that show.
Whaddaya think?

An Unexpected Call

Wednesday morning, aproximately 9:30.

Me: “Crime Check, what are you reporting?”

Heavily accented Indian male voice: “Yes, my name is Sanjay*. I am calling to you from Mumbai* about your advert.”

(*I couldn't understand what he actually said...)

Me: “I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number. This is a non-emergency number for the police department.”

Caller: “Yes. I am calling to discuss with you a possible proposal for marriage.”

Me: “Sir, you have the wrong number. This is Spokane...Washington State?”

Caller: “Yes, I know I am calling to Washington. I am calling because I like what I saw in your profile on-line and would like to talk to you about possible proposal for marriage.”

Me (trying to be patient): “Sir, you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Yes. My friend gave to me your number and I look up your profile and your picture, and I like what I see. I want to know if you would be interested in meeting at some future date.”

Me: “Sir, can you understand me?”

Caller: “Yes, yes.”

Me: “Sir, this is the po-lice department, in Spo-kane, Washington. This is not a dating service. I think you have the wrong number. What number are you trying to call?”

Caller: “I don't know, my friend in California gave to me this number.”

Me: “Well, sir, I'm afraid he is either playing a joke on you or you wrote the number down wrong; this is the police department in Spokane.”

Caller: “Oh! Well, I am afraid that someone maybe has been putting me on! I am so sorry! This is the number I was given to call. Who are you? You have been so nice to me, what is your name?”

Me: “My name is Tera (because we are required to give it if people ask)" and for good measure: "with 911 and the police department in Spokane, Washington."

Caller: “Is there another number that I can call you at for maybe a later time?”

Me: (pause) “...I'm sorry?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to call you for another time to discuss a possible proposal for marriage.”

Me (not trying too hard not to laugh): “I don't think so. You really have a wrong number, sir. I need to hang up now.”

Caller: “Yes. Thank you. I am sorry. Have a nice day.”

click

***Keep in mind this is an abridged version of the conversation. It actually took about 15 minutes. I couldn't understand him at all at first and it took a bit before my ear figured out the accent, plus I was trying to sort out what kind of emergency or issue he might have. I almost got a translator on the line until I figured out what was going on. Then there was about twice the amount of back and forth while he talked to me about the "website profile" and the "proposal of marriage". The sad thing is, I think he was serious! ...maybe I should have asked for a picture first!?

Another Day In My Life at 911

I often sometimes get frustrated by people who call 911 to have the police come out to tell their roommates/boyfriends/sisters (whatever) to let them get their stuff out of the apartment they've just been kicked out of. I often sometimes get frustrated by people who call 911 because their neighbor parks in front of their house. I frequently sometimes get frustrated by people who call 911 to have the police come discipline their kids.

I have to laugh, though, at people who call 911 for stupid dumbass silly reasons.
Like the following: (Once again, I am NOT making this up!)

911: What is your emergency?
Caller: There's a suspicious guy walking down my street.
911: What's he doing?
Caller: Walking down the street.
911: So...how is that suspicious?
Caller: He doesn't live on this street.
911: Does he have any weapons?
Caller: No.
911: Is he hassling people?
Caller: No.
911: Does he seem intoxicated or on drugs?
Caller: No.
911: So why is he suspicious?
Caller: Because he doesn't belong in this neighborhood!
911: ...sigh...


911: What is your emergency?
Caller: There's, like, 30 people over in the park on the baseball diamond.
911: Okay. What are they doing?
Caller: Playing baseball.
911: ...(?) And that's a problem because...
Caller: The parks and recreation guy said the field is only for people under 16 years old.
911: ...sigh...


911: What is your emergency?
Caller: There is a suspicious guy at the gas station.
911: What's he doing that's suspicious?
Caller: He's parked at the gas pump.
911: Um, is he getting gas?
Caller: I don't know, but the gas station's closed.
911: Is it one of those pumps you can pay by card after the station is closed?
Caller: I don't know. You just need to get someone out there.
911: It's not against the law for him to buy gas after dark...
Caller: He shouldn't be there! You just need to get a cop out there!
911: So other than him being there after dark, what else is suspicious about it?
Caller: He's black.
911: Really? You think he's suspicious because he's black? (Yes, I actually asked him that.)
Caller: Yes! Are you sending a f*ing cop or what?!
911: ...sigh...

I think I have a permanent dent in my forehead from banging it against my desk.

Fairies and fires and callers, oh my!

I had a sale! Yea!



This was for one of my favorite little fairies. I did this one completely in Corel Painter, and it's a really fun art program because you can totally make stuff look like it's hand painted. (Ok, what the hell is it with me and the word "totally"?! I totally use it way too much!) I need to play around in it some more, and probably get the newer version, because my computer doesn't like the old one very well (I think it's 3 years old now).
I also have a good start on my jewelry. It's been fun making stuff again. Hopefully I will have some pictures to post on Monday. Maybe tomorrow if I really get my butt in gear.

I am kind of frustrated I haven't posted for a while. Been working a lot. We've had some mandatory overtime because a lot of people have been sick, some on vacation and one of our gals fell off a ladder and fractured her spine. (ouch!) And then Thursday we had a HUGE storm here. Lots of thunder and lightening and grass fires. That's always fun in a 911 center. (Not!) Then right in the middle of everything we (or the ground right next to the building) got hit by lightening! Everybody yelped and jumped in their seats. Luckily our computers are well protected, but sheriff's radio lost all theirs for a bit. It was pretty nuts for a while. Thank goodness it started to rain right after so hopefully that put out all the grass fires that got started.

Ah, summer!

It's been what we call "stupid busy" around here. Domestic violence calls have doubled:


Assaults have doubled (The new thing here seems to be stabbings. Good grief!):


Our "special" callers are calling 20 times a day, some of them (seriously), and they all seem to be coming out of the woodwork:


The heat, and now the full moon, are making people ca-ray-zee! We have discussed plans to get a crop duster to spread Prozac around town. If anyone can help with that I'd appreciate a call!



Have a great weekend!

Funny Things My Callers Say pt 3.1, 3.2 and 3.3

Just another day in the life at 911. All the callers were "girls".

Caller: I'd like to report an olderly man driving recklessly.

Me: A what?

Caller: An olderly man.

Me: ...okay...
----------------

Caller: I'd like to report a reckless driver on the freeway.

Me: Ok, let me have you to talk to the State Patrol...

WSP: What are you reporting?

Caller: A reckless driver on I90.

WSP: What are they doing?

Caller: Well, I'm going at least 85 and he's totally pulling away from me.
(FYI, our speed limit there is 70 mph)

WSP: Um, you wanna slow it down to 70 ma'am?

Caller: Uh, what?

WSP: You can't go 85 ma'am, and if you do you shouldn't tell me about it.

Caller: Oh. Okay.
------------------

and my personal favorite of the day :

Caller: I'd like to report a lady walking down the street who looks like she having some trouble walking. She might be drunk.

Me: Okay, how old is she?

Caller: She's elderly.

Me: By elderly, what do you mean, 70, 80, 90?

Caller: No, I'd say she looks about 42.

Me: Where are you? I'm gonna come beat you with my cane kick your ass. (No, I did not really say that to her, but I really really wanted to!)

Absolutely NOT Making This Up

Me: 911, what are you reporting?

Caller: Oh, I didn't mean to call you, I meant to call nine-eleven.

Me: Um...this is 911.

Caller: Yes, but I don't want 911, I want nine-eleven. For the police department.

Me: There is no "nine-eleven", it's 9-1-1 and that's who you're talking to.

Caller: This is ridiculous. [click]