What I've Been Working On

I have a friend here at work whose husband is being re-deployed to Iraq for, I think, the 3rd time. (sucks) They (his unit) decided they wanted t-shirts to help out a little with morale/camaraderie.
The original design was developed by one of the guys in the unit, but it was determined to be too busy, and too many colors for a t-shirt print.
So she came to me and asked if I could help out. For our troops, I was happy to.
Below are the original and the re-design. I knew I was on the right track when S.A.M. actually recognized the plane I used! :)

For those who care, they were done as vector art in Adobe Illustrator.


Next up, I have several special custom projects/portraits, thanks to Midlife Slices! (Yea!) Hopefully she will share as I get them done!

Rest In Peace

On Father's Day, 2009, my Uncle Fred went home to be with his Heavenly Father.
He was a wonderful man who I never heard say an unkind word against anyone and always had a smile and a laugh. He will be missed.

For those who offered kind words and prayers, thank you so much.

Prayers Please

****** I mistakenly stated that Fred is 82. He is actually only 78. Mom had to correct me. ***********


If you are so inclined, please say a prayer for my Uncle Fred.

He is 78 years old, and along with my mother, the last two of a family of 11. In the past couple years my mom has lost 2 brothers and her sister. Sunday, my Uncle and his new wife Carol (I know, at 78! the old dog!) came to visit my mom and dad for a couple days. Wednesday, he was admitted to the hospital after having a stroke and placed in an induced coma.

They don't know what's wrong. Dad said he had a really bad spider bite on his back that looked infected and may or may not be partly to blame.

Today (it is now Friday, wee hours, but I can't sleep) they will be waking him up to see how he's doing. They are pretty sure his heart's ok, but they don't know about his brain.

My Uncle is a retired doctor. He is one of the funniest men I know. He has 3 lovely, lovely girls and he and his family have always been among my mostest favorite relatives. I have such wonderful memories from my childhood of visiting their small beach cabin in the summer, of lots of laughter and the smell of Fred's cherry pipe tobacco. My little brother used to follow him around and try to steal puff off the pipe when Fred wasn't looking!

I am hoping and praying that he will be fine. I know my mom has stated several times over the past year or so that she is just not ready to be the last of her family. It has been very hard on her. So I am praying for her, too.
Any words to the Big Guy Upstairs would be most appreciated.

Thanks so much.

Absolutely NOT Making This Up

Me: 911, what are you reporting?

Caller: Oh, I didn't mean to call you, I meant to call nine-eleven.

Me: Um...this is 911.

Caller: Yes, but I don't want 911, I want nine-eleven. For the police department.

Me: There is no "nine-eleven", it's 9-1-1 and that's who you're talking to.

Caller: This is ridiculous. [click]

What do you do when ...

...someone breaks your husband's heart?
My husband, Secret Agent Man, as previously posted here, works for a Contractor that carries government contracts. He is not CIA, as some people like to pretend he is. But his job still carries a lot of weight and he and all his guys have to have security clearance. S.A.M. takes great pride in hand picking his guys and hiring only the best.
One of his fairly recent hires we had high hopes for. Last summer we had a BBQ and invited his crew, along with the New Guy and New Guy's wife. They seemed really nice. They seemed to be smart and funny and not all wrapped up in some of the petty left over high school crap that some guys in their 40's are still dealing with.

Boy, were we wrong.
New Guy turned out to be Major Asshole.

Over the past month or so he has done everything he possibly can to get his immediate boss in trouble, and his boss' boss (which would be my husband) and has even gone over all their heads to the Big Boss. Apparently he is trying to actively get them all fired by saying they authorized him to do illegal stuff. He has stolen, lied and compromised security for God knows what purpose. It's all coming out in the wash now, but the Asshole has managed to really upset my husband, who is the most upright, honest guy I've ever known. He is taking it personally, which he should.

So tonight after work, S.A.M. and his best bud went out for beers and hot wings and bitching. The more he drank, the more pissed off he got. The more pissed off he got, the more he drank. Which of course just caused him to get more upset. By the time we both got home (me from work) everything was just a big mess.
Anyway, after discussing how to perforate a kidney in a dark alley (just kidding on S.A.M.'s part. I hope.) and wanting to cut off Major Asshole's testicles and shove him down his throat (my idea, because he's obviously not man enough to deserve them) I finally got hubby calmed down. He even started singing (if you can call it that), "Cinnamon Girl" of all things.

I left him to get ready for bed, which he was doing in his bathroom (the "master" bathroom) and I went in mine (I have permanently commandeered the "guest" bathroom because the "master" is so small, so beware if you ever come to visit).
At this time, Our Missy Kitty comes upstairs because she's good at giving sympathy in the form of purrs and ankle rubs. S.A.M. starts talking to her and singing "Cinnamon Girl" to her and then I hear this:
"What Missy? You saw Neil Young in concert in Moosejaw in 1982? Really?"
pause
"...and you have the tshirt to prove it? Wow!"

I think he's going to be just fine.

Late Night Conversations When the Hubby is Half Asleep

Me: Do you still love me even though sometimes I'm a pain in the ass?

Secret Agent Man: You're not a pain in the ass.

Me: Okay, how about a pain in the patukis? (yes, it is our made up word for "butt")

S.A.M.: You're not a pain.

Me: A pain in the patootie? (also another made up word for "butt")

S.A.M.: You're don't make me feel pain.

Me: How about a numbing sensation in the back of the left knee?

S.A.M.: No, but sometimes you make me feel tingly...

What Were They Thinking??

I've been seeing a lot of stuff lately about celebrities obsessed with youth. So many of them are getting this procedure or that injection...half of them no longer look like themselves.

I understand the desire to remain youthful. I wouldn't mind taking 10 years off, myself. But I draw the line at having my face sliced open or some toxic substance injected into my face. (Although, ask me again in 10 years and maybe I'll have changed my mind...!)

However...

I have become somewhat obsessed, myself, with finding the perfect plumping lip gloss! I don't have particularly thin lips, but I like them to look a little fuller. Not a lot. Just a little. And I totally understand the desire of many actresses to have a plumper pout because thinning lips really do age you (as do crows feet and frown lines. But I don't have any of those. No I don't! Prove it!) What I don't understand is a) why do actresses under the age of 45 feel they need to "fix" anything with their faces, and b) what on God's green Earth makes anyone think that having duck lips makes them in any way, shape, or form attractive!?!?

These two seem to have managed some restraint, and I think they look fine. In fact, I think Courtney Cox looks better, actually. Aniston looked fine to begin with, but her new upper lip is kinda cute.

These wack jobs actresses obviously have issues:

Me, on the other hand, I think I've finally found the perfect lip gloss! What do you think? Is it too much? You can be honest.

They're Telling Us...

...We're in for a Deluge. I'm just hoping the thunder and lightening wait until after I get home.

Things...

...that irritate me and make me laugh all at the same time:

When one of our crazy mental "frequent flier" callers calls and states that someone else needs to go to the mental hospital because they are crazy.

Today I am torn between "Takes one to know one" and "Take me! Take me!"

Sunday Drive

Sorry I've been MIA lately. My in-laws are here from Michigan so we've been spending all day with them and then I drug myself up so I can sleep with this dang hand-ache at night, so I'm not spending much time with the laptop these past few days. We're pretty much joined at the hip, so I hope I didn't hurt it's feelings...

Last weekend, Secret Agent Man and I went for a drive in the Country. We like to do that as much as we can. We are always hoping we find that perfect parcel for real cheap, I think. Mostly we just like to drive, listen to the iPod and chat about the random crap that pops into our heads.
This time we went south and west of town a little. We thought we'd drive maybe an hour but ended up driving around for about 2 and 1/2! We remembered to bring the camera this time, and I have been playing around with some of the pictures we took. I wish that we had a better camera, which we will soon, but there were 3 hawks playing around that I would have loved to get pictures of. By the time I got my little point-and-shoot out and aimed at the birdies, one had flown away. I got a couple shots of the 2 left, but I just couldn't zoom in enough. Oh well. Maybe next time! :)

Anyway, here's a couple I've done some Photoshop Actions on.

ouch

I should have called in broken today.

Yea Spring!

We had an awful winter here.
Secret Agent Man would disagree, but he's crazy. He loves snow. Deep snow. I don't know why, we don't ski. Or ice skate. Or luge. We don't even really get out in it at all, unless we have to. But he likes it. And he likes to shovel the driveway. (I know, the man is crazy!)

Anyway, we had more snow here than I care to ever have again. We had Record Snow. It was even in the news! At one point I think we had 4 ft of snow on the ground. We left on vacation before it started snowing in December and when we got back 5 days later we had 3 ft of the crap in the driveway. Our neighbors were beginning to think they needed to call the cops because our driveway still was not shoveled.(Seriously. We had messages on our answering machine and everything, because usually our driveway is the first one shoveled on the street. Did I mention that crazy guy S.A.M. loves to shovel the driveway?)

After we got home we got more snow! In the middle of all of that, the 911 center (where I work) lost power and our computers AND phones bit it, so we had to drive to our "backup" center. (Do you know not all 911 centers have backup? How crazy is that? What the heck do they do when stuff goes south, which with computers happens a LOT?!? "Thank you for calling 911. Please solve your emergency on your own since our phones are not working right now and we don't know when they will be working again for the foreseeable future. If you are fighting, stop it right now and go to your rooms! If you are bleeding, put a band aid on it and please try your call again." Whatever.) Our backup center is about a half hour north of our usual base of operations, but in 4 feet of snow is about an hour and a half away! And in the dark. In a blizzard! It was fun. (Anybody know the HTML for sarcasm?)

Mostly I got really tired of the gray. Everything was gray. The sky. The trees. The streets. The yard. This was my yard at one point:
This was my yard at another (towards the end of winter):
This is my yard now:

I would trade 4 feet of irises for 4 feet of snow any day!

p.s. Anyone want an iris? Seriously, they are 4 feet tall and taking over my yard!